-What I would like to ask you

-How I felt when you died

-How I feel now

Depending on your faith beliefs you may want to make a copy of your letter to “deliver” to the loved one you have lost. For some writing the letter over again on special paper and buring it is the best answer to this situation. For others bringing their journal graveside and reading the letter aloud is suitable to share it with the one they have lost. In some cases reading the letter to a trusted family member or friend is enough. Some people gain comfort simply by reading eh letter again in six months on their own.

Facts Section

This is a good time to remind you that to save newspapers or magazine articles, quotes, comics, funeral or memorial bulletins or obituaries in this section. If you only add a few facts in to this section then your doing fine. At the very least one entry per month in this section will create a record supportive of your journey through grief. If you want then add restaurant menus or even recipes this is a good place to keep everything together. If you choose to save sympathy cards the envelopes can be attached to you pages to hold the cards. Words to important songs, advertisements, for foods or services can also provide happy memories and comfort years down the road. Be sure that items, quotes, and information saved has a real emotional value. A healthy healing journey with your grief should not be bogged down with clutter.

Journal Section

For an active journal keeper one or two entries a week will be easy to accumulate. If journaling everyday is comfortable for you that is helpful for healing.

Section Three

Reflections and ReviewMore about this section very soon. For now be sure that it is ready and waiting.

Session Four

Now is the time for a contemplative logical look at your journey living with grief. On a new page in your journal using short phrases and free verse finish these sentences:

Sometimes I feel angry when_____________________________

Oh how I wish________________________________________

Sometime I feel hurt when_______________________________

Missing ____________is hardest when_____________________

I remember when______________________________________

As I start to feel _______________________________________

I will know I am getting better (when/because) _______________

I was confused about feeling happy when____________________

I am my own best journey facilitator because _________________

I cried when___________________________________________

I know that your memory is always in my heart because _________

Session Five

Think about songs, prose, poems and prayers or alike that have brought you comfort on your journey. If the inspired words are not yours be sure to write down the name of each author. Sharing these selections with your support network can provide you with care and new hope regarding your future with out your lost one.

Session Six

Start this week thinking about old hobbies or skills you enjoyed once before, or pick a new one to learn. Set a goal for your skill and give your self a year to meet that goal. Acclivities and projects you do to please yourself help you to continue to be the person that others find interesting. As time passes doing things and finishing projects will start to feel more and more rewarding. If you have returned to an old craft project or hobby you can expect to see a new depth or value to your work, however if you have started a new kind of hobby or activity it may seem more important to you than it does to other people including family and friends around you.

Session Seven

Do not fear what upsets you. Make a short list of upsetting words and events then journal about how you handle each situation. Keep a record of how you have coped with anger and upset. Over the weeks and months it will provide you with a good reference to look back on if anything upsets or angers you in the future.

Session Eight

Recall the people who have reached out to you and what they did that was comforting to you. The time has arrived to step outside of your own journey and help to comfort someone else. Grief comes in all shapes and sizes, so brighten the day for someone who has lost a job, moved, burned a meal, or even had an important relationship break up. You can help someone you know or someone new. Kindness and comfort shared with an open mind and love in your heart will help you and all of the people you reach out to. Reaching out is the best way to see how far you have traveled on your own journey with grief.

In the event that you reach out to a person who is not comforted by your efforts, offer a simple apology and seek out another person to share your comfort and kindness with. Even when your efforts are not warmly received there is value in the lessons “Life goes on” If your comfort is welcomed then the same lesson will find you by a different path.

Session Nine

On the next new page in your journal write down a list of twenty things that you love to do. Big things like going on holiday or small things like eating candy. After you have finished the list Underline the top five things from you list of twenty. Make a new list with these five activities you love most. Next label each with an approximant cost. If they are activities you enjoy alone write your name after the item, if it is something best shared write down In Public. Lastly label each of your five items with the last date you engaged in the activity. Keep these lists in mind and treat yourself to an activity you love to do or use to do inside of your budget.

Session Ten

The belongings left behind from you lost loved one need to be kept for a time, but by now you should be strong enough to organize what you will donate to charity shops, share with family and friends, and set aside the few personal items you want to keep. As you heal fewer physical objects belonging to you lost loved one will bring you comfort. Keeping every pair of socks or a collection of dishes you have no need for can halt your journey. Choose to make you healing about special objects, memories, and items. Pay special attention to jewelry collections and photographs as they might have been included in a will or legal documents. Honor the wishes of your loved one by doing as they have instructed.

Session Eleven

In some cases a formal perminate method to memorliaze the deceased has to be taken care of at the time of burial. If it has not yet been taken care of then start planning a suitable memorial for them. In cases when a stone grave marker or plaque has been placed this is an excellent time to make a crayon rubbing of that grave marker. Other options include a scrapbook detailing your loved ones life and death, scholarships, contributions of time and or money to a charity, artwork, travel, and living memorials like trees or rose bushes. Creating a place or a way to honor the memory of your lost loved one will insure that you and your family and friends have a place to honor remains and memories alike.

Session Twelve

Grief is a journey we make each and every day to heal our hearts and our souls. There is no time limit and no one method of grieving that works for everyone. For some people sessions might take one day or 90 days. Journaling each time you have to let go of thoughts and feelings gives you control of them. Reviewing facts and artifacts will strengthen the connections and help you meet your goals. Reading over obituaries or other material after time has passed can create new emotional responses. This is not an attempt to rewrite past entries but a chance to invite new thoughts and feelings and write new entries about things that have moved you along on your journey.

Session Thirteen

Section Three Reflections and Review

Now at long last we have arrived at section three of your notebooks. Label the last section Reflections and Review. When anniversaries, birthdays, journal entries, accomplishments, death days, or family events confront you redo what ever session you feel will bring you the most comfort and record it here. If you feel moved to buy a birthday card or other token of affection this is the place to save it so that it will continue to support you emotionally in the future.

Session Fourteen

On the next new page in your journal write down this affirmation.

~Sorting out a support network.

~Freedom to express thoughts and feelings.
 

Living Each Day As It Comes. 

My personal journey with grief has taken many twists and turns some days I feel as if I have taken a step forward and other feel like I have gone three steps back. I have walked hand in hand with my grief and still managed to make the best of each day for the last twelve years. I have lost children to miscarriage and had to survive the loss of both of my Grandfathers, as well as the recent death of my most beloved Grandmother following her last stroke. You to will come to know this journey well and see the value of life that it teaches. Knowing the journey does not mean that future losses will hurt any less, but rather it means that you will not have to feel helpless to the overwhelming feeling the journey with grief leads you through as you learn to go on living each day.

No matter what size the grief or where you are working through it or living with it knowing your own feelings and the motivation for them is one wonderful way to go on with your own life even when you feel sure you can not go on another day.

Looking at the changes grief set in motion in your life,

1. Normal Life function

2. Death of a loved one

3. Shock

4. Protest

5.Disorganization

6.Reorganization

7. Life Function reestablished

8. New Normal Life Function

By the time you feel confident with you new normal life function speaking about your loss in a Blog can be helpful and function as a healthy outlet to future growth. It is alright to go on living to share your story and to feel nice feelings again. In fact it is the only way to maintain any quality of life and honor the memories of those who have left this world. The most important lesson you can take from your journey with grief is that you have control of all of your emotions, thoughts and feelings. In the end we are own on our own journey, and the comfort and kindness we offer is as much as any of us can do. To be sure your friends and loved ones have an easier time when your time comes arrange to have all of you affairs in order and your last will and testament drawn up and properly filed so that your loved ones can honor your wishes.

As children most of us attended a Physical Education class at school that meet every day or three days a week. These classes were filled with warm up exercises and calisthenics followed by games and activities that encouraged a wide range of movement and activity for extended amounts of time. Rare was the child who did not complain at least once about going to gym class at school. Funny how now as adults it is rare to find the individual who does not complain about exercise and gets started with out a great deal of encouraging. My thought is if you are reading this you have what it takes to motivate your self to be active enough to start a fitness program that your friends and family will support your maintaining.

What worked as to keep us fit as children in the schoolyard can still work now that we have grown and have taken adult responsibilities. Do you remember the stretches that were standard at the start of gym class?

Flexablity And Warm Up Exercises

The standard program had ten flexibility warm up exercises, designed to stretch out the whole body and prepare all of the major muscle groups for activity. Here is the warm up regiment to get you started now;

1)Arm Circles: With your arms straight out from your sides, rotate them counter clockwise ten times making a circle with a diameter of about 2 feet. Repeat in the clockwise direction.

2)Twisters: From the same position, and with your feet spread about 30 inches, twist all the way to the right and hold it for a count of 8 seconds, then to the left. Repeat until you have stretched to each side eight times.

3)Toe Touches: Stand comfortably with your feet slightly apart, keep your legs straight being careful not to lock your knees, slowly bend over and reach as far as you can. Hold for a count of eight seconds and repeat eight times.

4)Back Stretches: With your feet spread apart slightly more than shoulder width, bend over and reach as far as you can between your legs to touch the ground. As before do this slowly, hold for a count of eight seconds then return to a standing position. Repeat eight times.

5)Achilles Tendon Stretches: Stand in front of a wall about a yard (3 feet) away, keeping your feet flat on the floor. Place your hands on the wall and lean forward as if doing a push-up. You should feel your calf muscles stretching. Hold for eight seconds and repeat eight times.

6)Trunk Benders: With your right arm extended over your head and your left arm bracing your hip, slowly bend toward the right and hold for eight seconds. Repeat eight times. Then with your left arm extended over your head and your right arm bracing your hip slowly bend toward the left and hold for eight seconds. Repeat eight times.

7)Sprinter Stretches: From a squatting position with your hands on the floor , extend your right leg as far backward as possible and hold for a count of eight seconds. Repeat eight times with both legs for a total of 16 stretches.

Sit and Reach: From a seated position, and with your legs straight out in front of you, bend over slowly. Try to touch your toes and put your head on your knees. Hold for a eight-second count, and repeat eight times.

9)Chest-Knee Stretches: Lie flat on the floor with your legs extended and pull your right knee up to your chest and hold for a eight second count. Do the same with your left leg. Repeat with each leg eight times.

10)Posterior Stretches: From a seated position , pull your heels as close to your buttocks as possible. Then slowly press your knees down toward the floor. Hold for a count of eight seconds and repeat eight times.

Calisthenics

Now that you whole body is stretched out and ready for a real work out, this is your chance to jog, run, attend a aerobics class or enjoy the cardio activity of your chousing. Calisthenics is the most senior of all of the cardio programs and full of hidden benefits for anybody willing to spend the time on the program.

1)Thigh Modified Knee Bends: With your feet as wide apart as your shoulders, your toes pointed forward, and your hands on your hips, squat until your thighs are parallel to the ground. Be sure to keep your back straight. Return to the starting position and repeat 12 times.

2)Pushups with Full Extension: With your toes on the ground, lean forward and put your hands on the ground about shoulder width. Keeping your back straight , lower your upper body to the ground and back up again. To start off do four full pushups and work your way up to two sets of eight pushups.

2a)Modified Pushups: Same as 2), except do these with your knees on the ground. Be sure that your back is straight for modified pushups. Do twice as many of these as pushups with full extension. Doing both kids of pushups will benefit your abs and your back.

3)Back Benders: Lie on your stomach with your hands behind your head and your fingers interlocked. Then raise your trunk off of the floor as high as you can. Hold for as long as you can. Repeat 4 times.

4)Toe Raises: With both hands on your hips stand up straight, raise up on to the balls of your toes hold for a count of eight seconds. Repeat 8 times.

5)Abdominal Sit-Ups: From a comfortable position lying on your back on the floor. Bend your knees at a 90’ angle, place your hands behind your head. Come up to a sitting position and touch your right elbow to your left knee and alternate there after until you have completed 16 sets.

6)Side Leg Lifts: Lie on your right side with your head supported by your right elbow and hand. Lift your top leg as high as possible and then return to the starting position. Turn to your left side and do the same. On each side do 2 sets of eight.

7)Arm and Shoulder Flexors:

a)Chins: Use the underhand grip and beginning from a hanging position with your arms straight, pull up until your chin is above the bar. Return to a hanging position. Repeat to 3 sets of 4 and work your way up to 3 sets of 12.

b)Flexed Arm Hang: For this exercise, use the underhand grip, and place your body in a position with your chin above the bar, as you would had you just completed a chin-up. Hold this position for a eight-second count. Repeat 4 times.

Arm Extenders - Chair Dips: With your back to the chair, grasp the sides of the chair seat (make sure the chair is stable), and slide your feet out straight from you. Then lower yourself as far as possible ad push your self back up. Repeat eight times.

Any effort you make to complete a regimen of exercise will help you to lose fat, firm up your body and give you’re a natural boost of energy. Before beginning any exercise program be sure to consult your healthcare provider.

Copywrite By Lareina Nokes-Moser 2005

My husband and I have been married for nearly 15 years and we have argued about so many things I have lost track. In fact I stopped keeping track because it is important to leave the past in the past. Just before our third wedding anniversary the anger and verbal conflict nearly tore our lives apart. The two of us choose to sit down and learn how to cultivate healthy ways to handle our problems.

It might be fun to share the blow by blow accounts of how my husband and I learned to have a fair respectful argument, but that would be way to much drama for me to feel comfortable sharing. Between our third wedding anniversary and our fourth we learned how to keep a conflict on-point, decoding issues, “I” messages, and livable resolutions. No two people ever think or feel just the same way, but if you work together to make healthy arguing a corner stone of all of the important relationships, there will be more great days ahead.

On-Point 1 to 10

The on-point method for problem solving lays down rules, that if followed can set up clear communication and focus the attention of the people involved to the issue at hand. People are always more important than any issue that could ever come up. Be sure that all of the people who will take part in solving a issue will be present with undivided attention. Save the TV, radio, video games, books, and computer for another time. Sitting in a kitchen or a living room where there are no distractions is the best. Clearly a on-point meeting should not take place over any meal. Here are the ten rules and the reasons for them.

1.Stick To The Topic

In many heated conversations the topic can become sidetracked because the people get caught up in smaller issues only partly related to the original problem, or try to work out to many core problems in one sitting. When this happens the original problem does not get solved. A reminder to stay on topic or a list of other side issues should be kept where everyone can add items to it for later talks.

2. Band Cross-Complaining

Cross-Complaining happens when you answer a complaint with another complaint. Even if the new issue is important and valid this will not help keep things moving. (These are the issues for the list you’ll make together.) If you stay centered on the job of solving one problem at a time then your behavior should not be a problem to deal with later. If your both calm and ready to work on the problem as it stands and not let emotions cloud the issue, your ready to talk things out.

3. “I” Messages

When complaints are made on the topic at hand they should be stated as “I” messages. Say what you think and feel and believe honestly. Speaking for ones self is important in any conversation, but even more so if the topic is the cause of conflict. Keep your eyes open for more on “I” messages!

4. NO Interrupting

Each person need to have a chance to state their side of the problem. Everyone gets a chance to talk but wait until a though or idea is out to take your turn. When people talking about important issues get cut off they feel that their point is not openly valued. Waiting for the slightest pause can be harmful too, every rebuttal is important, but none warrant being rude in an argument. This rule could also be called the listening rule because you need to listen to what people are saying and why they have said it.

5. NO Zapping

When problem solving Zapping can be defined as responses which “put down” or insult the other person. Name calling and sarcastic remarks, and also blaming are all forms of Zapping. If you work on hurting the feeling of the people with whom you do not agree your not working on the problem you set out to solve and your to emotionally involved to seek out a good solution. If you feel the need to Zapp or a Zapping outburst is made the session need to end so that everyone involved can calm down. There are times when a comment that was not spoken as a zap can be taken that way. In this case respecting the person who feels Zapped is the best choice. I suggest that the best solution is to plan on 5 or 10 minutes breaks if Zapping happens. If you need to make up another term for Zapping be sure that both understand what that term stands for. In our house Zapping is Trashing for example. If we start Trashing each other we must have a break. Online that kind of comment get called Flaming or Spamming. In any case it is best not to say hurtful things.

6. Leave The Past In The Past

The most command mistake in conflict solving is bringing up the past. In families things that happened to us that may have been issue in the past. If you bring up a misdeed from the past it has the effect of shifting your current discussion away from solving the problem. If bring up the past happens in a conflict solving meeting it will most likely lead to an argument off of the topic at hand.

7. Positive Body Language Counts

If you feel calm and relaxed it will show in how you carry yourself. When the way you sit and speak does not match your words the people your speaking to are less likely to trust that you believe what your saying. Your body language has an affect on how people listen to your words. Sometimes we do not intend for the way we are sitting or carrying ourselves to come across as a part of the message and that changes the way people respond to us. Other times we do this intentionally and we expect others to pick up on it. If you have an agenda trust the people your problem solving to understand what your saying. If your body language is relaxed or even just calm your word will mean more.

8.DO NOT READ MINDS

This is a dangerous risk for anyone to take. If you rely on the person your problem solving with to read your mind, and understand you feeling you will more than likely misread and in the worst cases not even noticed. Long term relationships have the highest risk of this rule being broken. No matter how well you know each other each of you must speak up for their own opinion. Each member of the household must take responsibility for their own ideas.

9. Understand Each Other’s Comments

When people do not agree it is very important for them to know that the person they are working through and issue with is understanding them. Each pair of individuals should make rules about understanding comments and agreeing not to let emotions cloud ideas. Understanding assures each person a chance to feel their ideas were respected. Remember respecting an idea does not mean you agree with it, but it reminds the person whit whom you disagree that you respect them.

10. Fight Fair

In order to solve any problem fairness is required. Both people must be fair to solve problems If you can start a on-point meeting and follow the rules together, you can solve problems. It is much better to end a meeting that has brought out an emotional response in one or both of the members, and get together again at another time, when you can solve the problem at hand and not create a new problem. If the rules are not followed you’ll find yourself working the same issue more times than the one it should take.

Decoding Issues

Normal everyday life has a way of bringing up situations that people do not agree about. Knowing what bothers you is a great way to understand what bothers the people you care about. If something make you or your partner angry, it can be an issue. The easiest issues to spot are the one that cause a disagreement between to members of a relationship or a family unit. Keep a keen look out for problems with time management, money, childrearing, and expectations. Do not seek out conflicts to solve, instead work to establish peace in you home and in your life. If you have an issue that must be resolved work through it together.

If an issue from the past comes up again set a time to talk about it later so that you do not have do hold a conflict resolution meeting to handle the issue again. Find a comfortable place and review the positives and progress made in handling the issue. Continuing to work towards compromise can make a solution you have both agreed on even stronger too.

“I” Messages

When we speak the best way to take responsibility for our own thoughts, feelings, and actions, is to be clear about the fact that we are speaking for ourselves. If you have ever had a verbal fight with someone who tries to speak for you then you know how angry it can make you feel to hear, “You are just Lazy.” or “You do not care how I feel.”

Here are the rules for “I” messages. With the samples below please remember that you r not allowed to say the word “you”

Sample 1.
I feel ___________(describe your feeling) when ___________________(explain the event) and then I _________________(share your view of the event as it happened).

Sample 2.

I feel _____________(describe your feeling) when_____________________(description of what make your feelings an issue) and when I feel_______________(repeat your feeling) I __________________(description of your reaction).

Sample 3.

When ____________________(describe the troubling event) I get __________________________(your feelings) and then I __________________(reaction).

When you use an “I” message remember that your talking to a person you care about and their feeling are important too. These are powerful statements and saying them is easier than hearing them. If you hear an I message understand that the person speaking is responsible for their own feelings and you are not being blamed. Lets look at some of the myths of “I” messages and why using this method saves hurt feelings and future conflicts.

Myth

“I” messages will always bring immediate results.

Truth

The value of “I” messages is reduced by insisting on an immediate response.

Myth

A good communicator can always think of a good “I” message on the spur of the moment.

Truth

Sometimes the event does not need a three part response. Example, ”I feel sad when you do not save me a vanilla slice.” Sometimes the first two parts say enough to get you point across.

Sometimes if you try to use all three parts of the sample ideas you can insult the other person with whom you are trying to solve a problem. Remember NO Zapping! It is best if you use your own personal judgment.

Myth

“I” messages are the only correct way to confront a problem.

Truth

1. They are an additional method in our understanding of conflict.

2.They can help make non “I” messages more powerful.

Myth

If “I” messages are done correctly they will work.

Truth

There are no sure things in life, however, they should raise the odds a little. Speaking respectfully and calmly is truly a good move even if your upset of heartbroken.

Myth

“I” messages MAKE other people do what you want them to do or stop doing.

Truth

“I” messages can only help the speaker feel dignified, less threatened and less put down.

When using “I” messages to resolve a conflict be sure that both people working on an issue are grown up enough to handle the concept. If your both capable of making appropriate choices, and will do so when provided with good information. Willing and able to agree on a design for the command good because of the right information. If your both caring people who want to goon solving problem together for year to come ”I” messages can be a wonderful tool to help you make that happen.

Livable Resolutions

Conflict is such a normal part of daily life that it is surprising to me how few healthy conflict solutions are employed to deal with them. When you have found a healthy way to solve the issues before you and set rule that work in your relationship it becomes very important to agree on a livable resolution together. Be sure that this is something you can do at the time you agree to it. Ask, “How will we know this issue is resolved?”

Resolutions Tips

-Work out your solutions so that they do not generalize avoid terms like “you always” or “you never”.

-Keep the resolution on topic. You set out to solve one problem so you should end with one solution.

-Have problem solving meetings by appointment. Be sure that all the members of the conflict are ready to talk things out.

-The best solutions came out of meeting that last one hour or less.

-Use ”I” messages.

-Never try to solve a chronic problem when it is happening.

-Pay attention to words not behaviors. Look at body language, but ask the other person to tell you what they are feeling.

-Ask your friends and support network for thoughts and ideas well before you set out to solve the problem.

-After a problem has been solved it is in the past and you must not bring it up again.

Rules For A Healthy Argument

The purpose of a argument is to reach a solution not to strive for victory.

Arguments should have a appropriate time and place It is not right to take advantage of our opponents fatigue, embarrassment, or any other disadvantage.

Do NOT refuse to deal with an issue. If something is important enough to a member of your family, it is an issue worth seeking resolution for.

Remember that breaks are fine but you have to finish the meeting together or plan another time to do so.

State you issue in the form of a request not a demand. Make it as positive as possible.

If the argument is a question of fact, then it is your job to get the facts.

If the issue is a matter of opinion , you must recognize it as such and work towards a compromise.

Do NOT dig things up out of the past, work to resolve your issue in the here and now.

Do NOT make a speech. Share your issue and then let the other person respond.

NO NAME CALLING. No Zapping of any kind. No put downs or reminders of past put downs.

NO emotional blackmail. “If you truly love me, you would . . . . “ or “if you had any respect for my feelings you would not . . . . “

Be sure to speak about your issues about behaviors, not states of being.

Reach a livable solution in the set resolution meeting time.

Choosing to share your life with a partner and children is a wonderful way to enrich your life and knowing how to handle anger in healthy ways and seek positive conflict resolution can make your family life even better. There is no issue to big or too small, and you can work together to solve problems and make your home an even happier place for your family. Remember even though we have conflict in command, we can control if we want to handle it in a stressful manor or a healthy manor. I hope you learn to work past every issue that faces you and enjoy all of the beautiful days ahead.

Copywrited By Lariena Nokes-Moser 2005

Pick garden flowers in the cool of the morning or evening, never when the sun is high in the sky and the ground feels hot. Cut the stems on a diagonal slant, using a knife or sharp garden scissors. This method of cutting exposes more of the stems surface to the water. Put you fresh cut (or purchased) flowers into cool water quickly.

If you are cutting flowers for a large bouquet take out a 1-gallon pail of lukewarm water, 110’F. Take the pail with you into the garden or green house. If the flowers have a woody stem (lilacs, chrysanthemums), scrape the base of the stem first, or split it an inch from the end, before putting it into water. If stems have milky sap, “seal” the ends by charring with a candle flame or dipping in boiling water for 30 seconds, covering flower heads and foliage to protect from steam; then place flowers in lukewarm water.

Before arranging flowers, condition them by leaving in lukewarm water in a cool room for at least two hours, until the blooms feel crisp and firm. This is the perfect time to pick the vase or vessel to compliment the flowers you plan to arrange, make sure that it is clean with no bacteria from other flower arrangements. I give florist’s flowers the same treatment, having first re-cut the stems on a diagonal slant, an inch from the end. When you are ready to arrange your bouquet , carefully remove excess foliage that might cloud the water in the vase or vessel you have chosen to arrange the flowers in.

To extend the life of any cut flowers, I strongly recommend use of a commercial flower preservative, in granular or liquid form. Most have some plant food in them, and ingredients that retard fungus and bacterial growth. A liquid form of cut flower plant food should be added by day four of the bouquets display time when the water is refreshed.

Place flower arrangements away from drafts, direct heat, strong light, or anywhere a house pet could disturb them. Change the water ever other day, unless you are using a flower preservative, in which case add water as it evaporates.

Enjoying fresh cut flowers insides ones own home is a wonderful way to bring the outdoor inside, and brighten up any room any time of the year. If you received the flowers as a gift it is a good idea to take a photograph of the arrangement at its most splendid so that you have a record of it to add to memory books, or scan in to your computer for any application you wish. It can be a splendid treat to email a gift of cut flowers to someone who is far away. I recommend emailing a photograph of the flowers you have received to the person who gave them to you along with a thank you. Flower arranging can be a hobby, or a skill you brush up on when that odd batch of flowers comes your way, but knowing the basics can help you to enjoy flowers no matter what the situation.

Copywrite By Lariena J. Nokes-Moser March 9 2005

Schedule the party for late afternoon, perhaps from 3pm to 5 pm. This gives young children plenty of time for an after lunch nap, so that they arrive rested and not cranky.

Keep the party-time at two hours, as this is a reasonable amount of time for children under five. Indicate hour on you invitations, so mothers will know how to plan their afternoon the day of the party. Some mothers may want to stay with their children, others may wish to drop off and pick up their children. Send out correct easy to understand invitations two weeks ahead of you party so that everyone you wish to invite can plan to come.

Limit the party to one room, where the kids can play and have fun. Be confident in knowing that your breakables are not in the party-zone. This also helps the decorations to stand out and catch the eye of every guest. Child size tables and chairs in the party room can put everything at eye level for young children, and keep their attention. Encourage adult guests to sit on a cushion on the floor and participate completely, but also have a standard size seat on hand.

Music should not overpower a birthday party; a low volume for background music is a good way to wind down an event. Children love to star in every event, so have more songs than ’happy Birthday ’ planed. Birthday party songs that kids love to sing and act out include The Wheels on the Bus, The Farmer in the Dell, Nanny’s Shopping Cart, and The Name Game.

At a birthday party ice cream and cake are traditionally served, but you can also serve cookies or cupcakes. Breaking bread together is a fabulous way to celebrate even for three to five year olds, so you may want to serve an afternoon snack right before the sweets. Children love eating finger-food. Suggestions include mini sandwiches or pigs in a blanket, nachos and fruit kabobs. This way, the children do not arrive home just in time for Tea (dinner) but with a ruined appetite.

A birthday party should be fun for everyone, so plan at least one activity suitable for every party guest. Having extra paper-plates on hand with markers and streamers so that everyone can make a mask leads to hours of imaginative play. If you have an old or unused shoe box on hand, then ask each child to draw a cake or a decoration for a part of a pretend cake on a index card. Then glue the finished index cards on the shoebox and display the pretend cake on the gift table.

Party games are a wonderful way to keep children moving and smiling. If you plan to play games make sure no child is left out of playing. Simple, short games are best and the most fun for young children. Ideas include, Red-Light Green-Light, Duck Duck Goose, and London Bridge. If you are going to have a piñata make sure that you have 3 to 5 pieces of candy per child, or 2 toys per child.

It is becoming command place to send each partygoer’s home with a goody-bag. Party favors are a wonderful way to teach the guest of honor that it is a nice to give a gift as it is to receive a gift. Remember young children who have just had a lovely snack and party sweets do not need a treat bag full of candy, but two or three for later are wonderful reminders of a wonderful time had by all.

Within two weeks of your child’s birthday party it is good form to send out Thank You notes to everyone who attended, even if they did not bring a gift. Involve your child in writing the thank you notes. Children as young as three can understand the concept of gratefulness and have fun adding a thumb print or a finger-paint hand print to a thank you note.

Themes for birthday parties should be kept age appropriate and with clean up in mind. Keeping entertaining fun and simple will help you as the host or hostess have a great day too.

Copywrite By Lariena  Nokes-Moser March 3 2005